So you know it�s been a bad year, healthwise, when this happens:
I go to the pharmacy to pick up a refill.
I go to the counter and say �I�m here to pick��
And before I could finish, the pharmacist says �Just one this time, right?� then goes right to my prescription and brings it to the counter.
How scary is that? I mean, that means I�ve been at that pharmacy counter quite a bit, because she�s not the only pharmacist so it�s not like I see her every time I go either. Yet she still saw me and knew exactly who I was and how many prescriptions I was picking up this time.
Health, I just want health. And next year, I�m switching to a PPO with a prepaid health account so all my deductibles and coinsurance are already paid for at the start of the year and then deducted from my paycheck so I intend to use the hell out of it and get healthy. I mean, there are some things I cannot fix. I cannot cure my lupus. The osteoarthritis and spondylitis in my back are there forever. The lost optic nerves will never be found. They are gone forever. But there is still a lot I can do to make myself healthy.
I plan on doing the following:
Seeing a new Ortho (a family friend and grandson of some famous physicians who have a clinic in Minnesota and sounds like a condiment) and get an over view (sort of like a 60,000 mile check up and then get a referral for Physical Therapy.
Having more regular visits with the chiro (plus he says with the PPO he can do more types of treatment, yay for that.
Go back to therapy (emotional therapy that is)
Go get a full check on my optic nerve and my friend harvey the growth on my retina at the premiere eye institute in CA
That might be it for now. I�m sure I�ll think of more.
So, about the passing of my dear friend Quincy. I have a few things to say. She was a wonderful cat, and a good friend to me when I needed one. I loved having her sleep with me at night and coming home to find her curled up on my bed every day after work. I loved when she was a kitten and would curl up on my shoulder. I loved watching her sleep under the Christmas tree. But the truth is, she only spent 9 months with me. She spent 3 years with my Aunt and family. I�m a little weepy, they�re devastated. I am sad, but happy. I am sad she is gone, but I�m happy that she had such a good life. Her life was so short but she was so well loved and had such a wonderful home the last three years where she was loved and had critters to chase and got to pretend she was a big lioness. She was a lucky kitty even if her life ended early.
The thing that really makes me tear up is this: If life had taken a different path, I�d be having a baby in 2 to 4 weeks. I can�t get past that. The idea haunts me night and day. It hurts. And the things that distract me keep getting all fucked up too� like the whole Ken incident. And everyone around me is having babies, having little girls. I am happy for them, but still feel my own loss. I wonder when that feeling goes away? I hope it fades at least a little soon.
