So, my parents are out of town so I�m here alone. I had gone downstairs about 7ish to make some pizza rolls. I saw some brownies on the counter that I made earlier in the week and contemplated eating one but then said, no, I�ll be having pizza rolls soon so I�ll wait. So a few hours pass and I thought, maybe it�s time for a brownie. I go downstairs and the brownies aren�t on the counter. They were in a sealed plastic bag and they definitely weren�t there. I made a quick glance around the counter and didn�t see them and hadn�t been downstairs since I made the pizza rolls. So, at that point, I started to freak a little bit.
Luckily, my uncle is a cop and lives 2 miles away, so I made a quick call to him and asked him to come over and look around. I then grabbed my mag-light/weapon, my cell phone and my car keys and went and sat in my car with it turned on in case I needed to make a quick getaway.
My uncle showed up in a few minutes and looked around the house with his special cop�s eye and found nothing. Nothing else seemed out of place so then we began looking for the brownies. I found them in the freezer with the pizza rolls, so when I grabbed the pizza rolls, I must have accidentally grabbed the brownies and put them in the freezer too� Oh well. My uncle didn�t mind and once I saw they weren�t on the counter, I figured the best thing to do was to get someone else here before I started poking around.
My big exciting evening. Other than watching the first season of Desperate Housewives, that�s my big Saturday evening. But at least I feel safe in the house again, and I�ll be sleeping with my maglite tonight just in case.
Other than that, I�m in a slight manic phase. Now for me, I don�t get the euphoria of mania for the most part, I just feel wound up and jittery. It�s almost like an engine inside of me that revving too high, or there�s a hamster running in a wheel in my stomach. Last night I had a total freak out moment and just sat on my chair trying to make myself breath and finding it near impossible. Each minute seemed to pass like an hour. But I finally got involved in some TV shows, telling myself to just get through the show. Then I started playing computer games like TaiPei and Solitaire and listening to music. I just kept telling my self, one more song, one more game, until enough of the evening passed before I could go to bed. I don�t like this jittery feeling. My doctor upped some of my meds, you can�t just go on them full force because the body has to adjust so you have to start at low dosages and then raise them once a week. I can�t wait for this shit to kick in. I�m barely sleeping, lucky if I get in 3 meals a day and I�m all jittery and freaked out inside. But I�m getting through it.
Today, after running some errands, I made myself go sit in the backyard and read a book just so I wasn�t holed up in my room. I was out there reading for about an hour when Lauren called (I�d link her but she�s locked) and we talked for almost 2 hours. Thank you Lauren for helping to distract me and pass my afternoon. I felt a lot more relaxed after the call.
And that�s my day. A little anti-climactic drama to close it out, but other than that, fairly boring. Which is far better than having an intruder in the house, even though boring is, well, boring. However, I am enjoying Desperate Housewives and as it�s 9 now, I can go to bed soon and put it all behind me. Tomorrow is a new day and I�ll find some way of passing the time without feeling quite so jittery. Something outdoors, even if it�s just reading the book in the back yard again. Anything to slow this engine down inside of me.
