sleep would be nice
2004-10-15, 1:14 p.m.

Okay, it's 1 PM and this day should be over. Really over. If I could get a good night's sleep, maybe I'd feel better, maybe my mood wouldn't be so black, maybe I wouldn't be fantasizing about stealing canes from blind people and taking pacifiers out of the mouths of babes. (NOTE: I would never do anything this mean... I'm just in a bad mood.) This day will end this day will end.
Tomorrow, I am going to Knott's Berry Farm with some of my old college pals (actually, they are my friends from my days in "the cult". Cultish behavior notwithstanding, they are nice people and we are still friends and enjoy each other's company. We just choose to differ in opinion on matters of religion. It can be done) This trip to Knott's will help me meet my goal of going to all So Cal amusement parks. It will also keep me busy and my mind and body occupied. Plus, I can buy something Woodstock to add to my collection and put a smile on my face! Smiles on my face are few and far between these days.
Today is boss's day and we had a potluck to say "hey, thanks for telling us what to do all year long." (Side note, in a training class I taught this morning, we had a long discussion on whether it is boss', bosses or boss's) Since it was a potluck, my meal consisted of a hot dog, a salad and an egg roll. Gotta love eclectic potlucks. We have a lot of filipinos and vietnamese in our department so we always have interesting dishes to sample.
Got in a big fight with B today. We're having dinner together tonight... maybe we can smooth things over. Hard to say.
I'm starting back on a mood stabilizer so hopefully my mood will improve soon. Last night I just wanted to rip all my hair out of my head. I didn't, but I wanted to. Instead I left a message on B's voicemail and cussed a lot. This is very unlike me. I usually try to calm my anger down before speaking. He told me I was "in a rage" and it scared him. Buddy, you ain't seen a real rage. I didn't throw things, no one got hurt... puhlease. But I can see his point, I'm usually pretty rational so I'm sure it surprised him. Whatever, words needed to be said.
Okay, I need to figure out what work I'm going to get done today.

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