Yesterday: Janet = tower of strength
Today: Janet = pile of dog poo
Last night, I had to drive a payment over to my storage place (the 10 x9 foot room that holds all of the contents of my life, the proof of my existence). Just being near my old apartment brought back a flood of memories. Memories of life there, memories of Brian, memories of living on my own. Good and bad memories, happy and sad.
I remember when I first moved there, it felt like my home and I was so happy there. Shortly after moving there, Brian and I reconnected and started dating. I have so many memories of him there at that apartment, and not just of being with him, but talking to him, even just laying on my bed thinking about him, memories of missing him. It�s all wrapped up in that place.
But the more I tell myself it hurts, the more it actually does hurt so I really need to change the soundtrack in my head. So today, I will tell myself the following:
I am strong
I will survive
Not only will I survive, I will triumph
I don�t know what the future holds but it�s going to be great
I can�t wait for tomorrow to see what it will bring
If I tell myself these things enough, if I hear it in my head over and over again, maybe I�ll start to believe it. Here�s to hoping.
