One year ago last night, I was trying to sleep in my parents house. Nervous, excited, but mostly worrying about everything I had to do in the morning and would I get to the hospital on time. One year ago today, right at this moment, I was sitting in the waiting area at the hospital, waiting for them to call my name and take me back and start getting me ready for surgery. One year ago today, I weighed 366 pounds and could barely walk. Pain and I were good good friends. I hated my life and I hated myself. One year ago today.
One year ago today right at this moment (I wrote the first paragraph a little earlier this morning) I was under the knife. I was out like a light experiencing the #1 most significant event of my life thus far. One year ago today.
I just returned from my big 1 year weigh in. I now weigh 232 pounds and I have lost a total of 134 pounds. In one year. And I could wax on for hours about how life is different. I can�t even count all the blessings. But really, it�s mostly the little things that mean the most. Today, I am wearing a size 20 pants that are really too big and I can feel them bagging in the ass. Size 20 is too big. Wow. Last year at this time, size 30�s were too small. I almost never feel pain in my joints anymore. Friday night, I took a bath to relax. And there was room in the tub for both me and the water. Tonight, if I want, I can paint my toes, and reach them even. I can wear men�s extra-large and they�re starting to get too big. I look at my most recent photo and I�m finally starting to see the thin person I�m becoming.
So today, this morning, this afternoon now, I just want to be grateful. Grateful for all the people who went before me and showed me it could be done. Grateful for the support of my family who made it all possible. Grateful for those friends who were there for me when I needed them. Grateful for those new friends I have made since the surgery. I have really built a much better community of friends since the surgery. I don�t know if it�s because I just act like I deserve better or what. I�m sure there are entire journal entries about this waiting to be written, but I do not have the energy for it.
So Carrie made a deal with me that she�d give up the sugar if I would� last night I said I was done, then proceeded to eat 4 Dove Dark Chocolate hearts. But so far today, I am doing good. Someone even offered me a candy heart and I just said NO. Nancy Reagan would be so proud of me. Come on Carrie we can do this. I know we can.
JoeBoxer accompanied me to my weigh in and then took me out to lunch afterwards. He�s very sweet. And smart. And 22. And single. I�d start taking all your numbers but he enjoys the singles life� sorry girls. Okay, I need to get back to work.
