I have this special chair at work. It�s a special chair for fat people. I had to get it special ordered for me before the surgery because I was too fat for a regular work chair. My butt was too big and it would cause me to sit too far forward in the seat and my legs would go numb and my back was always hurting because I didn�t have the right support. My employer feels that our comfort is important and we even have a special ergonomics department (well, one person really) and if you are experiencing pain related to your workstation, they�ll come out and do an evaluation to make changes so you can be more comfortable. So, they came out and said, yeah, you need a new chair. And so I got this special fat people chair. But now, I�m not so fat anymore. And I still have the fat persons chair. Right now, I feel a little like Lily Tomlin in �The Incredible Shrinking Woman.� The seat is too big and my legs just kind of dangle off of it. My butt is a lot smaller now. I don�t need the 3 feet wide seat. I keep slipping off of it. I feel like a little kid in an adult chair. Kind of makes me all giggly inside when I think about my little legs just dangling over the edge. Well, I�m giggly during those moments when I�m not struggling to keep myself from slipping on to the floor. So, (I use the word so a lot� ) I have to have a new ergonomic evaluation so they can say, yeah, you�re not so fat anymore and you need a smaller chair. Then, I�ll probably gain back a ton of weight from all this chocolate and need the fat girl chair again. But whatever, I�m just doing this to piss off my employer. Because I can. I have a special foot rest too, and phone headset so I don�t get a crick in my neck, and a document holder so I don�t have to look down.. really, it�s great. Now if they would just have a cute cabana boy bringing me margaritas I�d be in great shape.
So yesterday, I worked 6 hours on this manual that I�m writing. It�s getting a lot more black stuff and less blank pages so I�m happy about that. My BigBoss (I have two bosses, one who really is just a middleman. He doesn�t do anything except take what his people do and report it up the chain. He�s just a meal on the food chain really. Taking up space and salary. In fact, I was talking to some people in his old department and he was a total joke there� they said, oh yeah, he doesn�t ever do anything, but I bet he�s holding a lot of meetings, so true, so true. So my immediate boss, his nickname will be DoNothing and the boss who really does stuff, the boss�s boss, he�ll be BigBoss. I�m working with him exclusively on this training project because it�s his baby and he knows everything about. Mr DoNothing doesn�t know anything about the new system or anything else we do around here in this department so he can�t help me. But I do have a special job for him in a couple days, he�s going to be my formatting editor, making sure I use capital letters in all the right places and that I use the same phrase in the same place and always use the same definition for an item, shit like that.) But back to the story, I started this sentence out with �My BigBoss� and then it turned into a big ol� story in parentheses and there really never was a sentence, but the parentheses section is so huge I don�t know how to write a sentence after that so I�m starting fresh. My BigBoss is helping me with the manual now, he has a section to write and I have a section to write so it�s a little more manageable. Yesterday, I was also able to clean my bathroom, take out the trash, do the dishes and straighten up my room. It�s amazing how much cleaning you can get done when you have work to do�
Today, I woke up at 4 AM and got to work about 5:15. What was really cool is that I was here and working away and my BigBoss got here at 5:45 and he was thinking he was the first one here, but I beat him! Yay! I win. So it�s always good to be here at the crack of dawn and have the BigBoss see that. I�m trying to decide how late I�m going to stay. I have to finish this one update, then I�m going to do a print and see what�s still missing. Then I�ll evaluate what needs to be done before the end of the night and then decide what parts I can do at home and what parts need to be done here at work (where I have access to the system that I�m writing about). I�m hoping I can be out of here by 4ish. I didn�t take a lunch today and that�s becoming fairly standard. Soon, soon.
I�ve decided that when this whole training gig is over, I�m taking a vacation. I am going to Seattle. It was a choice between Seattle and NYC, but in Seattle, I have somewhere to stay and that saves money. Which I love. So Seattle wins. And I have been to NYC before but never to Seattle. I am so excited. I haven�t had a real �get on a plane and leave the state� vacation in so long. Actually, I haven�t been on a plane since I weighed 366 pounds so it should be fun getting in those airline seats now. I actually have a time share with a location about an hour from Seattle so I�m going to stop in there for a few days too. My old college roommate lives in Seattle with her hubby and cute little girl. I haven�t seen her in years, so it will be fun. I also have a friend from kindergarten who lives in Seattle so hopefully I�ll get to see her too. It�ll be like the major trip down memory lane! Can�t wait.
Tomorrow is my one year anniversary. I�ll have to think of a special update to do for that. I�m going to sneak out tomorrow for the big 1 year weigh in. I have no idea how it will go, I�ve been eating so much candy lately. Argh! But it�s getting better. Still eating candy, just less of it each day. Maybe I�ll get myself weaned off of it soon.
I�m still taking advice so feel free to drop me a line. And just so you know, I did put aloe on it and I went with the red one� This is fun.
