Okay, so I am doing much better, my trip into the abyss was a short one. I�m not saying I�m perfectly content with every aspect of my life, but I do know how to smile and I�ve stopped bursting into tears every 5 seconds. I�ve continued working, continued socializing, returned to eating nutritious foods, doing all the things I know I need to do. I have not hibernated or turned in to a hermit in my closet. In fact, the closet floor is once again filled with my shoes and dirty clothes hamper. Things are much better. There is, however, a general restlessness and sense of being unsatisfied with my life. One of the main points there is my relationship. I have the guy that I�ve always wanted, but I don�t have the relationship that I�ve always wanted. I recognize that no man or other human being is really going to make me happy�the only person that can do that is me. So I�ve been thinking today on what I can do to bring more happiness in my life, what is it that makes me happy? And in thinking about this, I have to only focus on those things that are in my control and don�t depend on another person. I am happiest when I have goals that I am working towards, when I am achieving in my personal life. So, it�s time to set some goals and start working towards them�. Here they are:
1. Write the novel I�ve been kicking around in my head for so long
2. Finish the last two classes of my bachelor�s degree (10 years is long enough to have that over my head)
3. Work out three days a week, consistently for 6 months (more if I can, but you have to start somewhere)
4. Go out with friends at least 1 time every other week (I�ve become too much of a hermit, just come home and veg in front of the tv)
5. Clean and organize the garage
6. Get my scrapbook current
7. Enter the 2004 Creating Keepsakes Hall of Fame Contest
8. Complete all goals on my work review including the secret �hidden� goals, complete all goals at the maximum level of performance
9. Fit into a size 16 or smaller (I don�t have a weight goal because I have no idea what weight I�ll end up, also, with working out, I might be smaller at a higher weight, I�m more concerned with the size)
I think that�s good enough. All goals are due at the end of 2004, that should be enough time. This will keep me focused on me, the only one who has control in my life. The more I focus on reaching these goals, the happier I�ll be, at least if past experiences can predict the future. Some of these goals actually depend on each other. In order to write my novel, I have to clean out the garage so I can find all the old pieces of it that have already been written... So that�s my plan. If you want to drop me a note of encouragement to keep me going click here and sign my guestbook. And don�t forget to check out my website.
