The temporary return of Fido
2003-10-25, 8:36 p.m.

Just when I thought I was at the end of my rope, life throws me a curve and perks me back up again. You know that ledge I've been circling, well on Thursday my foot slipped and went in the hole. I caught myself before I fell all the way down, but the my grasp was not too strong. I had come home from work just feeling emotionally drained. I hadn't heard from Fido in over a week and I was really missing him, plus all the other little things I was dealing with, it just felt like so much. I mean, I'm not so stupid that I think I have the worst problems in the world, or that I shouldn't be grateful for all the good things in my life, but I have just been feeling overwhelmed lately. I had checked my e-mail and seen that Fido had read the e-mails that I sent him (for the first time in a week) but he didn't write back. In one of the e-mails I was telling him how hard things were and that I wished he was here. I was really upset that he didn't at least just send a quick note to say that he missed me too and wished he could be there for me.. something, some little crumb... I was laying on my bed and just started crying. I just remember feeling like I couldn't do it anymore, it is so hard to love someone who is only occasionally around. But I also feel like I can't NOT do it... that I have to give it a chance and I really do love him and want to be with him. I don't want to quit the game before the payoff. But I was just frustrated and overwhelmed and so very sad and alone. After about a half hour of laying on my bed, I decided to get up and watch a movie. So I was watching Chicago and about halfway through, my phone rings. It was Fido!!!! He was on his way over, about 10 minutes away. Unbelievable. He was being sent to San Diego and had managed to sneak into Orange County for a couple of hours. I cannot tell you how happy I was... I started crying when he got here, my emotions were still so raw. He thinks he'll be able to sneak away on Monday too, so here's hoping. All for now.

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