Okay, I weighed in last night, and I am now down a total of 93 pounds... I couldn't believe it. The weight has definitely been coming off a lot faster these last couple of months. I don't know why really, and I'm definitely not upset about it!!! I'm consistently wearing a 24 and recently bought some new clothes off of e-bay. I bought my first pair of Levi's since I was in high school.. I weigh 273, a weight I haven't been since 1994. So every day I get smaller and smaller.
As far as eating goes, I'm not much of an eater these days... in fact, I think I'm not eating enough, my stomach seems to have gotten even smaller and every time I eat anything, I get really nauseous. I am trying to eat smaller amounts and eat them more often, but since I don't feel hungry, this is also very hard. I go back to work on Monday, so I need to get my habits back. I've totally slacked off on drinking my fluids, and eating regularly. I know that last time I was off work, I found this hard too. It was easier when I went back to work as my schedule was more regular. Oh, and the last couple of days, I really haven't eaten well at all, not like I sit around snacking all day long, but I just haven't made good choices and have eaten food with no real nutritional value, as opposed to the protein that I really need. I think it's a combination of boredom and slight depression. Being home, there's just not a lot to do, and I get tired easily. It's easier to to grab convenience food, than to cook a meal. Especially when I know I'll barely be able to finish whatever meal that I make. This has been really hard for me. I have no motivation to eat, since I know I won't be able to eat very much, and what little I do eat will make me nauseous. But I just have to remember what works, taking one habit at a time. Yesterday, I did drink 64 ounces of fluid, so I'm going to work on that habit once again, and focus today on getting my fluid in. I also need to get back to taking my vitamins every day. So, I'll just work on those two little habits for now. When I have those down, the rest just seems to fall into place.
On other fronts, I went out with that guy again, the navy man. Once again we had a great time. He suggested a second date the next night. But then he flaked again. So he's history. Don't need this shit.
There's another guy that I've been seeing, he's super sweet, treats me really well, and seems to be looking for the same things I am. Here's the problem with this one--his job sucks, and at any time, he can get a call and take off for weeks. It's very frustrating as this seems to happen in the middle of our dates. I've known him for 3 years and our dating life never seems to get off the ground because of his schedule. I think he could really be someone that I can spend my life with, except that he can't guarantee he's going to be around from day to day. He's mentioned that he's ready to retire, but then other times, says he's not ready. We need to have a talk, and started to on Saturday, but then he got called away. Don't know when he'll be back. Frustration is the word of the day.
I just got back from taking 2 bags of clothes to a local volunteer organization. It's called Working Wardrobes and they sponsor women who are trying to re-enter the workforce in getting new wardrobes. Most of these women are getting back on their feet as a result of leaving a battering spouse or coming clean from drug abuse. They are holding what they call "A Day of Self Esteem" this weekend and collect business clothing. The women come and hear a motivational speaker, get to select 10 outfits, get their hair and make up done, then have a fashion show. It's really a great event. I volunteered at one a few years ago, but I can't this year because of the recent surgery, as well as it's my Mom's birthday this weekend. But I took all my size 26 and 28 professional clothing down there. I am really excited to know that someone who really needs it will have it and it will help them get a fresh start. My office is a business casual office, so I really hadn't worn these clothes in a long time. Now they are all too big. Exciting stuff.
Well, my little kitty cat is hovering on top of the monitor, looking down on my typing fingers. She has already grown a little bit, just in a few short weeks. She's getting better about the litter box, she's just a baby and I have to remember it takes time to learn these things.
Well, I'm going to call it a day. I didn't mean to let it go so long before posting, but life happens, right?
