Well, the mass in my dad's esophagus is 8 CM which is rather large for a tumor/mass. It's an adenoma not a carcinoma. Adenomas are the worst kind of cancer. It is also very aggressive. As each piece of news rolls in, it is worse and worse. I try very hard not to think about. I especially ache for my mom. She has sat by his side through so many medical problems (two heart attacks, quadruple bypass, angioplasty with a stent (because though he needed another bypass, he wouldn't have survived it), blood count so low from a bleeding ulcer (now known as a cancerous tumor) that he required 2 transfusions.
My dad is acting very stoic, though I know that he's really scared from some of the conversations we've had. I try not to bring it up as I don't know how much he wants to talk about it, but when he does bring it up, I make sure I listen with welcome. My mom is just scared out of her wits and with everyone but my dad, she is letting us see that. Right now, we are keeping it in the immediate family until we know when his surgery is and if it has spread. But of course, my sister, mom and I have told friends because hell, we need some support too.
I really try not to think about it because it's not looking very good and most of our hope is slowly being hacked away from us. I can't bear to think of what could happen. I can't imagine life without my dad. I can't imagine my mom's life without my dad. So for most of the time, I live in denial.
