This is just the briefest of updates to let you all know I did not die from that head injury. Unfortunately I had planned a number of trips prior to having the head injury and I went on them all which has left me rather exhausted and often away from a computer. I calculated it out. In the past 58 days, I have been traveling 49 of them. And if I include the state of California (where I do live, but traveled to the Northern part which is a 600 mile trip and all), I traveled through 6 states. All that with a back injury and a head injury. Go Janet!
Well, it did show me that I can enjoy life again (in that I used to love to travel before I hurt my back) and I am learning that with some care and rest and caution and post-excursion TLC, I can go out and do things.
But it hasn't left me much energy for updating or showing pictures, etc.
And although I have had fun on all the trips (shout outs to Lauren and HaloAskew and soon to sunstarr), I'm feeling rather blah about life in general.
You know the song for that car commercial "lust for life"? Well, I don't got it. I have fun during everything I have planned but I have none of the anticipation and excitement I used to have about things. I think I'm in a mild depression.
If moods were measured on a 1 to 10 scale, 1 being "treat me like a horse and put me out to pasture", 5 being "hey, it's all good" and 10 being "Man, life is fucking fantastic", I would put myself at a 3.
It's not that I don't have fun when fun moments appear, but outside of that, I'm just blah. I'm just here. I'm just occupying space.
Though I hope to update on a more regular basis, here's a basic synopsis of the next few months:
I am currently on hold with PT since I have been doing well during my PT hiatus whilst travelling.
At the end of this month, I will fly to florida to visit sunstarr where I will have a great time (and please don't take my lack of enthusiasm personal, it's a lack of enthusiasm about life in general, not in visiting you. I am actually excited about visiting you).
In late August/early Sept, I will go to Chicago for 10 days because my first trip wasn't enough.
When I return, I will have my hernia repaired and be basically bedridden for 4 to 6 weeks. (the surgeon told me to do nothing, no exercise of any kind, no lifting of anything heavier than a paperback book and as little moving around as possible since this is a recurring hernia and he wants it to heal as best as possible so as to not reoccur a 3rd time.) In fact, he is so concerned about it that he is booking me for overnight stay when this is usually done as outpatient because he wants to repair the entire incision instead of having a patchwork across my belly. (OH and did I mention how much fun my last hernia repair was? NO? Well, if you really want to know, I'll tell you. IT BIT ASS AND HURT WORSE THAN MY GASTRIC BYPASS!)But I have told Brian that he MUST be there with me this time to hold my hand (for whatever reason, whatever we go through, he is the one who most easily soothes my panic.
The good news, though, is that my broken nose will not require surgery to repair which the ER doctor told me it would. It healed in a way where a doctor could tell it was broken but it is not crooked or bumpy (unless you feel it - and that kind of intimacy is hard over the internet), and it healed in a way where my airway is not blocked. so YAY for that.
Then after I recover from my hernia repair sufficiently, I have to return to PT to recover whatever muscle I shall lose while recovering from my hernia repair. Ain't life grand?
And after that, I shall have to return to the world of workers.
That's all I can handle writing right now. Just thought I should add at least one entry this summer.
Updated to say the following: I just looked in the mirror. My eyes look like the eyes of a dead person. They look like they have no soul. I guess that about sums up how I've been feeling the last few days.
