One day, you are sitting at home and a delivery man comes to your door and says �Package of fruit for Janet. Please sign here.� Though you�ve ordered no package of fruit, your name is Janet so you sign. You aren�t particularly craving fruit at that moment, but you do enjoy fruit and know that when you are craving fruit, it will be nice to have around. You set the basket down and semi-forget about it.
A bit later, you think maybe some fruit would be good. You open the basket. It�s mostly empty. What is there is rotten.
So you have lost something you wanted some day but not really right then and didn�t even really know that you had. How do you feel about that?
I was going to be posting pictures of the BourbonGuy Resort (and Carrie did come up with some fabulous names) but instead, I shall tell a little story. It�s one of those things that are easier to put into words than to actually voice. Many of you know what I�m talking about. I shall write vaguely of it, then may choose not to actually talk about it for a while, because it�s my choice, right? And because I�m caught in a confusing place and don�t know how to think or feel.
There have been a lot of goings-on in my uterus these last few months. I thought I had sufficiently eliminated the possibilities of any unexpected baskets of fruit but sometimes, the fruit is there but just not putting out enough of an aroma to register. Until suddenly, it turns to goo and tries to escape the basket. Pain and bleeding and an ER visit and a whole mess of emotions I can�t name nor understand. That was my 4th of July.
Updated at 5:30 PM Cali time. I was grying to be vague to avoid the whole gross out TMI factors but instead may not have been clear. Several bits ago, I wrote about a pregnancy scare that I wasn't sure wasn't entirely sure was not more than just a scare. But having a doctor's appointment in the future (next week), I wasnt spending a lot of energy on the whole idea. But yestereday was confirmation -- there WAS a pregnancy. There's isn't any longer. All very sudden and unexpected.
