I can�t leave entries like the last one hanging around too long. I don�t like them being on the screen. I don�t like that they happen at all but they do.
I feel slightly better today. I�m not there yet, not even 3 feet from the starting line really, but any progress is welcome. My depression is really bad and it�s hard to shake. I cried almost all weekend. Big heaving gut-wrenching sobs. I feel hopeless, like my life is never going to work out. I can�t see the light, the joy or believe in it. Sure, the depression will lift, it always comes back, and that makes the struggle that much worse.
I�ve broken out in a rash over most of my body. It itches like crazy and I scratch it in my sleep. I look lovely.
This morning, I held a newborn baby, not even 12 hours old. Regardless of my mood, that�s an upper. I�m not happyhappyjoyjoy, but at least I�m not crying.
