The other day I was macking on fortune cookies and I got the following fortune:
�You will be in the best position�
The best position for what, I ask�
For getting hit by a baseball?
For financial success?
For having a cute boy fall in my lap?
For not stepping in the dog poo?
I think they are referring to sex positions. I will be in the best sex position ever. Soon I hope. I really can�t decide whether that means doggy style, me on top or what (because it seems to be different every time) but I�m not worried. The best position for sex is the one that gives me lots of �cookies� (that�s what my friends and I call them � it�s best when you get a baker�s dozen) and that�s all I care about. Well, that and that my knees don�t get too sore.
But what has happened to fortune cookies lately? For the most part, they aren�t really fortunes anymore. They are more like statements. I want a cookie that says �Next Tuesday, you will be visited by aliens and they will tell you the secrets of the universe. You will sell these secrets to the CIA and gain a lifetime pass from filing taxes.� Now that would be a nice fortune.
