And now for some good news:
I have a new job!
It�s with the same company and a lateral transfer so I won�t make more money but I SO don�t care. I can get away from all the politics and bullshit in my current department. I can have a fresh start somewhere else. And for that, I am very glad.
The new position is a field position. I�ll only be in the office 2 Mondays a month. The rest of the time I�ll be out in the field at our provider�s offices or working at home. Schwing!
(A quick side note on the word Schwing: in the city where I live, there�s a man named Schwing who is on the city council. I have voted for him every year just because of his name. Other people must be doing the same thing because he keeps winning.)
Back to the music:
So the position is very independent, I�ll be on a team of 4-5 people (4 here in Southern California and 1 in Northern California) and will have a territory that covers from Bakersfield to Chula Vista, from Palm Springs to Santa Barbara. I won�t know exactly which cities are mine until probably a month from now but either way you slice it, it�s a large territory. Which means� I get to buy a new car! (Or a slightly used car, it all depends on what strikes my fancy). So I�m very excited about all the possibilities.
A while back, I told myself I wanted to have a new job, a new car and a new apartment by the end of the year, so I�m 2/3rds the way there.
On the workout front, I started back to running (if you can really call it that at this point) again on Monday. And it sucked. Big time. I could barely do the 100 paces I make myself do, but I got around the lake and you have to start somewhere, right? Tuesday I went to the gym and did a kick ass work out on the elliptical. Last night, I celebrated my new job by taking a night off� Tonight I�ll probably go for a run.
After my run on Monday, I felt very demoralized. I feel like I keep starting over with my workouts. I keep telling myself I�m going to workout consistently for 6 weeks, then evaluate my progress and make a plan for improving, but I can never make it to 6 weeks thanks to kidney infections, business trips and colds. Maybe spring will be healthy for me. I guess what really matters is that I just keep re-starting, right?
Actually, after my run on Monday, I felt demoralized about life in general. It�s like once I start down a road of sadness, it�s so hard to turn around and all the ghosts that I usually fight off have no resistance and they join me on my journey. So soon, I�m not just upset and frustrated with my workouts, but I�m reliving every recent struggle and disappointment and I soon feel like nothing�s worth it. I get through it eventually and my sunny side comes back out, I just get so tired of the struggle.
But the excitement of the new job and new car outweighs the frustration at this point. Though I�m a bit scared too. I�ve been in the same job for almost 6 years. That�s a long time and change is scary. But I know it will be good. And I know in my heart this is the right move for me. Wish me luck!
