You know how, when you get something new, you can�t wait to brag about it and show it off to your friends?
Well, that�s how I feel about my new hernia.
I just want to show it off to the whole world. I�m so excited about it.
NOT!
Okay, so I�ve had this wicked cough (actually, an entire wicked cold) and that�s how I noticed the new hernia. It bulges up and pops when I cough. I had suspected back in December that I might have a new hernia, but I talked myself out of it. Now I am sure. The incision in my muscle from the original surgery was about 6 or 7 inches. The first hernia happened in the lower half of the incision, about 3 or so inches. That hernia was over my lower intestines so my guts kept squishing out of the hole in my abdominal muscle. That was the part that made it hard to live with (and dangerous). This hernia happened in the upper half of the incision and is over the stomach. The stomach doesn�t seem to be squishing (or even bulging) out, so that�s good. This may be something I can live with forever. I do know one thing � unless I�m about to die, I�m not having any surgery this year.
San Antonio was fun and I really did enjoy the food there. Allen was a blast to travel with and we had a good time on our last day. One funny thing about the people there, they are not used to driving very far. Here in Southern California, it routinely takes 20 minutes to go just about anywhere. 20 minutes on a good day. It can often be more like 45 minutes. Even just running an errand down the street can take 20 minutes. So I had some friends tell me to go to this barbecue place called Rudy�s. It�s a little bit outside the city but she said the food is good and that I�d like it. We were talking to some of the other people in the San Antonio office and they kept saying, oh, we never go there because it�s kind of far. We had about 10 different people tell us this. But we had time so we decided to go. It�s about a 5 mile drive, took us 10 minutes. For California, that�s close. So that was the running joke between Allen and I.
At Rudy�s, you buy the meat by the pound (for most of the meats) and then you can pull a bottle of your favorite beverage out of the ice bucket and choose from a couple of sides. They give you your food in a big plastic tray and give you butcher paper to use as plates. For our early dinner, we ordered some ribs, some turkey, and some sausage. The ribs and the sausage were okay, but we really loved the turkey. I decided to buy a little bit to take on the plane with us the next day (since we were flying SouthWorst, there would be no food service. We had a refrigerator at the hotel so we figured if we kept it cold, it would survive the first part of the flight until we ate it.). After leaving Rudy�s, we went to Target and ran a few errands. After we got back to the hotel, we were both kind of hungry so�. We started to eat the turkey.
I colored my hair and we sat around munching on turkey, crackers and cheese. It was about 7ish. Then Allen says, I was thinking maybe we should make a turkey run. I was game, so off we went, back to Rudy�s (on that LONG drive). We had decided that if we froze some water bottles and wrapped it up in my ski jacket in my suitcase, we could take some meat back with us. I bought a pound and a half of turkey and also a half pound of their brisket. When we got back in the car, I broke out the brisket for a sample. OH. MY. GOD. That was the best meat I�ve ever eaten. Allen and I almost ate all of it sitting in the parking lot. So, the brisket never made it home. Oh well. I can dream about that brisket.
We did just a tiny bit of sightseeing. We spent our 10 minutes at the Alamo and took a picture to prove it� then walked around downtown. We went in Dillards, because I had never been to Dillards. I saw a few things I liked, but I did not like the prices. I guess I was expecting something else, and it was more like a Nordstroms. We didn�t buy anything there. We flew home early Friday morning and got back in town just in time for my slight cold to go on a rampage. I spent most of the weekend in bed hacking up my lungs.
On the dating front, let me take a few moments to introduce two of the prominent menfolks.
Jim. Jim is the one I had a date with before my trip. Jim is really nice and doesn�t play a single game. I could very easily jump into a relationship with Jim. I enjoy his company. But my suspicion is that Jim will be the transition guy. I like him but� (here�s the catch phrase) I�m just not that into him. If I was, I�d be spending a hell of a lot more time with him. He�s asked me out several times but something always comes up (somewhat on both sides, but more on my side) and then I was out of town and then I was sick. On the sick thing, if I was really into a guy, it would never stop me. It never did when I was with Brian. So, I�m not going to toss him out yet, but I�m not feeling it. (and it�s not entirely because he�s too nice. I just haven�t been able to connect with him � more on that in a minute)
And now introducing Nathan. I like to call Nathan the anti-Brian. He�s everything Brian is not. Long hair. Born of flower children. Very liberal democrat. Touchy-feely kind of guy. About five years ago, Nathan actually voluntarily took an anger-management class because he wanted to improve the way he dealt with his anger. In that class, he learned better ways to communicate and how to accept responsibility for his own emotions. He communicates the way we learn we are supposed to � using �I� statements, active listening, etc. We talked for 2 hours on the phone last night. Of all the guys who have responded to my ad, so far, I like Nathan the best.
One thing that has been hard for me is actually letting myself like any of these guys. I feel like if I start to like one of them, if I start to care, then I might get hurt. It�s more than just the hurt that might come in a relationship. It also has to do with the disappointment that comes when you don�t hear from another person. The whole online dating thing brings up so much fear for me. Like if I send an e-mail out to a guy and don�t hear back, I take it personally, which I shouldn�t. If I come home at the end of the day and I have several new messages from men who look promising, I feel so much more upbeat. When I come home and I don�t have new messages, I feel sad and disappointed. I hate that I let this control my joy. So amidst all of this, I am still working on that aspect of my emotional development. I want to take all of this at a slow pace, make sure that I�m bringing my own joy into my life, making sure that my life is about me, and not about the man who might sit on the seat beside me.
I colored my hair a much brighter shade of red, almost an orange. I�ll have to post some pictures of it soon. Then today at lunch, I got it cut for the first time since last May. My ends were fried and split and dry and horrible. I�m the kind of person that, once I decide to cut my hair, I have to go do it right away. So I ran to Supercuts at lunch and got about 1.5 inches cut off. It looks much healthier now. Tonight, I�m going out with my friend Char for a movie and some good conversation. Tomorrow, I�m going whale watching with a friend from work and then to lunch. Sunday, I�m going to movies and dinner with some old friends. I have a busy weekend ahead of me, filled with fun and joy and living. And it has nothing to do with any man.
