Everything�s better with a new pair of shoes. I got a package in the mail today! A new pair of boots, tan suede. They are so cute. I�ve been looking for some tan boots for a couple of months. I could only find a darker brown and I needed tan. I have a million pairs of shoes, but I legitimately needed a pair of tan boots. Looked everywhere. Couldn�t find them. Finally, I found some on SALE at Macys.com and bought them right away. They came in the mail today. Yay! I can�t wait to wear them tomorrow.
There�s something about seeing an airplane in flight. I live near the flight paths of 2 major airports and yet, never seem to notice the planes. For some reason today, I noticed 3 of them. 3 solitary planes flying in the sky. Each one brought on such a myriad of emotion. I mean, there are so many reasons a person might be on a plane. Maybe they are flying to a funeral. Maybe they are going to visit a loved one or lover. Maybe they are on a plane travelling to a new exciting future. Maybe they are returning home after a long time away. Maybe they are going on a business trip. Right now, when I think of planes, I think of my boyfriend and the planes that take him away, and the plane that will, someday, bring him home. I see planes flying and wish they were bringing him home, or I remember the times he�s had to leave, the sadness and emptiness I�ve felt. But I also think about the idea of packing it all up and moving somewhere new. Or I think of friends who have moved away and how I�d like to visit them. But I wonder, who can see a plane flying and not think of September 11th? I can�t.
Okay, reflections on the past year. Well, I have this journal and many pictures to remind me where I�ve been this year. It�s been a hell of a year. I was hoping to end it on a super positive note by being able to say I got that new job, but that didn�t happen and every day that goes by without word makes me think I didn�t get it. Oh well, time to move on. But there were many very positive things about this year. Of course, the obvious is the 125 pound weight loss. That right there is worth it all. Then I think about Brian. And he was a definite bonus. I�ve made a couple of new friends, both in real life and on line. Real life friends: DB, my co-worker and cubicle neighbor. He makes it worth getting out of bed and going to work. It�s so strange to me, that he can read this journal and know all the crazy shit in my mind, and yet, I have no problem with this. It doesn�t bother me at all. I can look him in the eye every day and we can even talk about what I�ve written. He has quickly become a very valuable part of my life. GT, she�s also a co-worker and more recently a friend too. I�ve enjoyed spending time with her, talking to her and becoming friends. She has a very interesting background and we share many common interests. She�s easy to talk to and such a calm, peaceful and optimistic person. There�s JB, a new person at work. We have a great time talking and she is a really neat person. She�s going to go hiking with me and I�m going to join her on her annual trip to Yosemite so I can hike Half Dome for the first time in my life. And then there�s Heidi . Sometimes I think we are like one person in two bodies. We have a lot in common and we can talk about ANYTHING. I can bitch about anything to her, and she can bitch back. It�s great. And, I met her on diaryland. So how cool is that? We only live about 25 minutes away from each other. Sometimes, the internet is very cool. I have the cutest little cat who curls up on my bed and sleeps with me at night. Sometimes I just look at her, all curled up with her little head buried in her paws, and I�m just filled with love. It�s unbelievable. Then at 4 AM, she starts attacking my feet and I recover from the feelings that overwhelmed me. When I look back at the year, I have no regrets about ANYTHING. And that is a great feeling. Seriously. Incredible.
So I snuck out of work for a half an hour and went to weigh in. I like to weigh in once a month close to my anniversary date (February 10th), and so I had some time today and thought I�d make a run. I like to return to the scale they have at the surgeon�s. Actually, it�s another office where they do all the paperwork and have meetings and such. They have a scale there that I�ve weighed on since the beginning, so I go back there for consistency. As of today, at 1:27 PM, I weigh 237. A 11th month loss of 129 pounds. Wow, I�ve lost one average adult woman. Amazing. And I�m so happy. What�s funny though, is my weight right now, is the weight of some women who are just now going in to surgery. But I am happy here. I feel like, in the process of losing all this weight, I have found myself. I still have bumps in the road, but I�m able to travel down it. And I�m able to mix my metaphors too. You can do it too, I�ll let you.
Old Navy. Their sizes are so strange. I have 8 pairs of pants from Old Navy. 4 pairs in size 20 and 4 pairs in size 18. Now, of the 4 pairs in size 20, 1 fits and 1 almost fits. Of the pairs in size 18, 2 fit and 1 almost fits. Okay, does anyone else find that strange? That I can fit in more of the size 18�s than the size 20�s just strikes me as odd.
I am done with my rambling for the day. Just call me Tumbleweed. �Night.
