I just need to vent about two things. One thing happened a while ago, but it�s still bothering me, so I think if I put it in words here, maybe I will feel less annoyed. The other thing happened this morning. They both have to do with insensitivity. I know people don�t mean to be insensitive and they�re not even aware of it, but still, it just pisses me off and I�m tired of it.
Okay, first thing. A few weeks ago, after the night in the trailer park but before Christmas, my roommate and I were sitting around the house one day and she starts getting all whiny. She�s upset because her family moved their annual Xmas gathering from a Saturday night to Sunday night when her husband had already taken Saturday night off of work. So she was upset because her husband might not be able to make the family party. They have this gift exchange where everyone takes a turn and you can steal a gift from someone else or take a new gift. She said she was so excited this year because it was the first year her husband would be going with her, and if there are two people then there�s a better chance of getting one of the good gifts. She was actually whining about this. And mad. So I said to her �K, at least you get to spend Christmas with the man you love.� She didn�t get it. Hello, my boyfriend is off halfway around the world fighting for freedom and I don�t get to see him for Christmas, in fact, I almost never get to see him. And I don�t know when I�ll get to see him or even if he is going to make it home alive. I would just love for an hour with him on Christmas, and you�re complaining about going to the family party alone and not getting the good gifts. Get a life.
Second incident this morning. I wasn�t sure if I was going to post about it because the person in the incident does have the web address, but I�m pretty sure they don�t read it and if they do, oh well, I gotta get this out. One of my co-workers came up to me this morning and asked me how my Christmas was, so we were talking about it, presents and such. She said that her mother-in-law to be bought her some diamond earrings but she was upset because she bought her yellow gold and not white gold. Okay, again, I don�t get to exchange gifts with my boyfriend until he comes home, I don�t get to see him and right now, with his mood, he could really use some cheering up, and you�re standing there complaining about getting diamond earrings in the wrong kind of gold?!? Is it just me or would this upset you too?
Oh and secret third incident that I just remembered� again with my roommate. Her husband has a crappy job and works most weekends. He only makes $8 an hour, which for California is pretty crappy. And he�s 40. So really, time to do better in life. She makes $12 an hour. I make more than both of them put together, but that�s not really the point of this entry. Okay, the point� so she was complaining because they never have the same days off. I�m not talking about oh just an off comment about it, but pissed off and feeling like life is screwing her over because they never have the same days off. Okay, again, I�ve seen my boyfriend for 1 hour in 3 months. I�d love to spend 1 full evening with him. They see each other EVERY DAY. Argh! I�m just in a bad mood and I really miss my boyfriend and I�m upset that I don�t know what the future holds and I�m worried because he�s so depressed lately and I feel like all the stress is just killing off everything that is good about him.
I want something but I don�t know what. I want to eat but I�m not hungry. I just feel so empty inside and it feels like it needs to be filled up. And I don�t understand how I can feel so simultaneously happy and optimistic while I also feel so miserable and lonely.
