My most favorite day in the whole year (besides my birthday and Christmas � so I guess I could say my most favorite ordinary day) is the last Sunday in October. For this is the day where I get an hour of sleep back. I hate when it�s taken away from me in April. It makes me so sad, and I�m always excited for its safe return in October, like a friend I�ve reconnected with after a long absence.
I am, by nature, a night person. No matter how tired I am, how little sleep I get the night before, I tend to wake up, get my second wind, right around 10 PM. It probably happens about 89% of the time (89 was originally a typo, but I liked the unevenness of the number so there it stays).
When I was in college at UC Santa Cruz, most of my classes did not have finals, instead I had papers to write (being a literature major and all). Our school gave us a week of finals, but also a week off from classes prior to finals to study (nice concept, eh? Wish it was more universal). So basically, I had two weeks, plus whatever break was due (winter break, spring break, etc) to mold my time to my own natural rhythm. There were no classes to wake up for, a job that I could do any time of the evening (I cleaned one of the campus offices at night for about 5-10 hours a week, it was just enough to put food on the table and provide a tiny bit of spending money. I could show up any time between 5 PM and 8 AM. A perfect job for a night person like me.) Within days, I would be up until 5 AM and sleep until about 3. It was like I was living my days in reverse. I loved it.
Not only do I seem to perk up after 10, but my creative juices seem to flow best after 10. The best lines for my stories, journal entries, poems, seem to come when I am lying in bed working on fighting my internal clock. The words just come to me and I can�t fall asleep until I have put them on paper (digital MSWord paper that is). I love this quiet time at night. I know that no one is going to call me, I can�t interrupt myself with a TV show, no one is going to knock on my door. It is just me, alone with my brain.
But sometimes that has a downside too � the �aloneness�. If I�m fighting a depression, it�s hard to fight in the dark. I can�t find my weapons in the black pool that takes over my brain. And then I long for the distractions, the day light. It seems that once the light is gone, I turn 6 and believe in ghosts and goblins. It is possible for me to believe that there is a stranger hiding under my bed waiting to grab my ankle when I go to the bathroom. Logic abandons me. I am not about thought, only feelings.
But tonight is not one of those nights of shadows. Tonight is just a night where I�m awake, alone with the words that won�t stop the onslaught. But it�s okay. I know I�ll be tired tomorrow, but I also know that I�ll get through the day. A little loss of sleep now and then won�t kill me. But come the last Sunday in October, it will all get just a tiny bit easier. If I had my wish, they would eliminate daylight savings time all together. It�s an archaic concept anyway, created during WWII to save energy (I learned the creation date from watching National Treasure � both entertaining and educational!), so perhaps it�s time to rethink that concept (she says, to the controllers of the state clock). There are actually states, and/or parts of states that don�t implement daylight savings time and I say Amen to Arizona (and other places that get to keep that hour all year long). Though I love California and don�t know that I�ll ever leave, the idea of that extra hour IS pretty tempting.
Some St@rbuck$ in the morning will get me going, and it�s Pumpkin Spice season.
And now with no segue way whatsoever, a few comments on my life:
I spent from Friday afternoon to Wednesday morning flat on my back with my legs raised up as that was the only position that seemed to ease the back pain. I have felt better the last few days so that is good. I think it�s because I didn�t push myself to go to work on Tuesday and took the extra day to heal.
My mom broke her foot and she can�t put any weight on it. For those of you who have never been cut open or broken a bone, it�s hard to fathom all the things you need that muscle or bone for� She can barely dress herself alone, since you usually have to shift legs to put pants on. Tonight, she got on the floor to get something off of a shelf and we had to brainstorm how she could get back up. Neither me nor my father are strong enough to lift her, what with my back problem and my dad has a leg problem. My mom has fibromyalgia and just lacks the upper body strength to do it without the right leverage. But we finally figured something out. They have a big tub in their bathroom that has a long step built into it, plus a wide edge that is a good height. She can scoot her butt up on the step and then up on the ledge and she is then high enough to stand and has good leverage from the bathroom counter. She can also lift her bad leg up on the step and kneel on it, and then lift herself on to her good leg.
I remember from my gastric bypass, and also from my hernia repair, how many things required stomach muscles. Things we take for granted like laughing, sneezing, even farting (this one surprised me). A few years ago I broke my thumb and found the simplest of tasks maddening.
Here�s to hoping she heals soon.
Healing, there�s always plenty of need for that in this world. If you�ve got some, spread it around any way you know how.
Now, I�m going to try to sleep. Though I love the thoughts that come out of me late at night, I am hoping the words will quiet down long enough for sleep to take over.
And�
It�s October, so it�s almost my favorite ordinary day. Fabulous.
