I had this realization tonight. In all the relationships that I�ve been in (really not that many), when the end came, not one of them tried to keep me. Not one of them called a few days later saying it was a mistake, what could they do, blahdiblah� So it�s just got me questioning � do I pick men who are just indifferent and if so why, or am I just not worth fighting for? I mean, I think it�s the first one (says the girl who never really remembers which is the former and which is the latter), but I still get this insecure, overwhelming emotion that I�m just not that great, not that special, not worth working to keep, not worth fighting to get back. I�m just �eh� to these men that I pour my heart out to� and that thought hurts me, not just that I don�t feel worthy by the men I have loved, but that I don't feel confident in myself.
I want to be stronger than this. I want to be sure of myself. I want to be the rock of self-love that is not battered into pieces by the storms of the world. I think I�ll get there someday. I am just hate that I�m not there yet.
